Adrenal Courage

I had been tolerating the Keytruda incredibly well. There are many possible side effects but I seem to only experience fatigue, bloating and some occasional gastrointestinal upset and diarrhea. I basically went back to my new normal, and only took off 2 days of work around my infusions. I would still nap during my lunch breaks which did help significantly. After a few cycles, I had my follow-up with Dr. Hammer’s team. There was some confusion or miscommunication between his team and myself, and I apparently followed up too early. With immunotherapy, it is difficult to determine if there is disease progression early on as with the immune system attacking the cells, you can have swelling which they call pseudo-progression. At that time, the team was unable to determine if I had true progression or if this was all just an immune response. We again considered starting a TKI inhibitor, however, Dr. Hammer said that since I am tolerating the Keytruda so well, it is reasonable to wait until my next scan.  

The waiting game resumed again. Filled with much anxiety and uncertainty while trying to maintain some semblance of normal. I was attempting to stay in good spirits and appreciate that I did feel so well.  

Sometime along this journey I learned some news that hit me pretty hard. One of my friends, my daughter’s good friend’s mom, texted me that she had recently been diagnosed with cancer. She is my age. She just had a baby. I couldn’t help but think there is something seriously wrong with the world that two moms in their 30s have cancer. I would not wish this journey on anyone. I couldn’t help thinking about all the struggles and uncertainty the next few months would bring for her and her family. I imagine I felt how others who care about me feel. Wanting to help but not knowing how. Not knowing what to say or do.  

During this waiting game, the hopelessness I felt led me to want to do something. I began a fundraiser “10 days of 5k” during the month of July. I wanted to raise money for adrenal cancer, raise awareness and hopefully motivate some people to begin moving their bodies. I started my first 5k finishing at about 34 minutes. By the time I finished, I not only earned an appreciation for running, I also decreased my time to 28 minutes 30 seconds. I also had many friends running along side me showing their support. Friends pushing me to go faster. In the end, we raised $6,600 for Dr. Hammer’s adrenal cancer research team! 

Another goal I was working towards during this time was learning my muscle up. I felt like the damage from surgery and the recovery period would take that possibility from me. I really wanted to get one before I had surgery. I obsessively watched videos, tutorials and practiced. I have countless videos on my phone on failed and almost attempts. Then finally, on August 14, I got my first muscle up! Like I’ve said before, I truly enjoy moving my body and trying new things. Exercise is my medicine. Cancer patients who exercise also have better outcomes than those who don’t. Gaining muscle during chemotherapy also leads to better outcomes. There are some days when I just show up to the gym and just go through the motions, but it beats the alternative. I am just happy that I am still able to move and pick up heavy things.